The masquerade ball.

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The couple who introduced me to my now husband invited us to celebrate their birthdays with a masquerade ball. The whole affair was anxiety ridden for me.

Getting a dress, feeling slim enough for said dress, masks, hidden identities, travel arrangements, hair. Hair.

Hair!!!

So, this happened. She had to straighten then curl my beautiful hair to get it to look like this. And guess what. It didn’t hold and yet again, my hair was the main source of anxiety and sadness at a big social event.

Is it no wonder that my social anxiety got it hooks well and truly in, when I can’t even look vaguely nice or pretty?

We did enjoy it. But, I did spend most of it comparing my self to others and feeling inadequate. Something my husband still struggles to really comprehend. Also he didn’t dance with me that night. Other couples had a slow dance, he refused. This compounded upon my anxiety and equated to a sense of unwantedness.

I have a much better handle now I’ve embraced and accepted the fact I have always been and always will be a curly girl. I still feel anxious at whether hair will behave at social functions. But, my curls are my attitude now, and if they don’t go way I wish, I now give less of a 💩.

This is emotionally liberating for me. It’s helped my mental health. It’s repaired confidence.

It’s I’ve got curly hair. I don’t care!

🌀M🌀